Come on… Just one kind word!

I walked into the gym and saw buff people everywhere. Usually I spot one or two wannabes like me, but on this day it was all buffness. Buff young, buff old, buff meek, buff bold, buff men and women. And as much as it reads like a Dr. Seuss book, I was anything but charmed. All that buffness left me feeling entirely… unbuff, old, frumpy, jiggly… you name it.

I donned my bathing suit and hopped into the water. It was a good swim and I felt decidedly better about the world. And myself. I was athletic. Svelte. Buff. Me. 

And then I made the mistake of looking in the mirror after my shower. I immediately saw the grey in my hair where the color had grown out, When did all that get there? Then my eyebrows – How did I miss that they had become one long caterpillar inching across my forehead? And then the deep, red wrinkly circles left by my goggles, the jiggle in my arms…

Nice. In one workout I’d become an elderly, wrinkled raccoon sporting a unibrow.

I fluffed my hair, put on some lotion, all with a critical eye to the woman looking back at me in the mirror.

Later on I was riding with Wilna in the car. She’s a beauty – dark, sparkling eyes, gorgeous smile and her newly braided hair highlighted her face perfectly. I looked over to see her eyeing herself critically in the car mirror. “I don’t like how this style makes my forehead look,” she said.

“What?” I didn’t get it. All I could see was her beauty.

I thought of myself and how I’d looked in the mirror earlier that day. I thought of every good female friend who’s confessed to feeling old or frumpy or unattractive or wrinkly.

I mean, guys don’t do that, right? They look in the mirror, give their image a thumbs up and a wink and off they go to conquer the world.

So why do we women see the worst in ourselves in front of that same dang mirror?

It’s time to stop – so I came up with a plan: One kind word and one word of thanks. Every time I look in the mirror I need to say at least one kind thing about the lady facing me. 

Nice eyeballs.

Great teeth.

Love those wrinkly dimples.

You’re rocking those age spots.

Cute ears.

Something, anything.

And then a thank you.

Thanks, God, that I can grow eyebrow hair at such an usually fast pace. And sure, my raccoon eyes prove that my skin doesn’t bounce back like it used to, but on the bright side, I can now shape it like play doh and really have some fun.

So I want to challenge you ladies (guys, if you don’t do the whole thumbs up, I’m awesome thing, please feel free to join) – be kind. Be kind to yourself. Say one kind word and one thank you to the One who created you. Honor the artist. Next time you look in the mirror, every time you look in the mirror – find something you love about that face – thank the creator and get after your day.

You got this.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

18 Responses

  1. Well, I’m Sitting here crying … such beautiful words coming from a BEAUTIFUL lady!! Yes, aging can be very difficult – a total pain ( literally, all over your body!) at times. But I guess we just need to be thankful for our health, our continued ability to do things like swim ( I’m A swimmer too- love it!)! And basically that we’re still HERE!! God didn’t make no junk and He certainly loves and accepts us as we are. I really need to remember that too❣️❣️

    1. Thanks, Holly – Amen! No junk here! lol. Love that you’re a swimmer – my favorite form of exercise!

  2. Yes…I have arrived at the age where the wrinkles across my cheeks are a finished product…they never disappear, even when I am expressionless, and each time I see them I thank God fervently, because my wrinkles are the kind that are formed from laughter. I have been blessed with a sense of the ridiculous, especially toward myself, and as life unfolded with some boulders in the road, God blessed me with a lifetime filled with laughter, that has left its blessed marks on my face, so I can never forget how blessed I have been. Thank You, Papa.

  3. This came at the perfect time! Made me laugh, smile and rethink those negative words I gave myself today. Thank you Elsa for always speaking truth!

  4. You, my friend are beautiful! You need some of the socks I wear every day to remind myself that in God’s eyes I am beautiful! Notes to self socks, a company started by a mom wanting to encourage her daughter’s team. They have a bunch of affirmations. I just buy the back with pink letters. They are the only socks I wear. Easy to match my socks!

  5. What a lovely picture! Thank you so much for your blog!

    My husband and I have facilitated DivorceCare Groups for approximately 15 years in four different churches. Through the leading of the Lord we initiated the group in each church. You were one of our favorite individuals who shared your experiences.

    I had been bleaching and dying my hair for over twenty years and couldn’t stand the thought of seeing my own “mousey” brown hair. Until……I turned 70 and I began losing hair. So, I decided I had had enough! I let my natural hair grow out. To my surprise, I really liked the white streaks on my forehead and on either side of my head. I’ve received several compliments! Additionally, because my hair was thinning, I also decided to buy a couple of wigs. One of them is silver and brown which matches my natural color. The Lord is really helping me through this “Pandemic” period with a fresh view of His grace, mercy and a new sense of wonder!


    1. I love this! I’m not quite there – I’m actually getting my hair colored today, lol. But someday! Thank you again for your kind words!

  6. This is such a great post. I’m surprised that others do the same critical things that I do. I am going to work on saying a nice thing and thanks

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